2014 JAN WHIMSEY AWARD

Mickey Fromkin and Susan Rice for “The Day of Reichenbach I and II.” The Serpentine Muse, Vol. 29, No. 3, 2013, pp 14-15.

THE DAY OF REICHENBACH I

by Mickey Fromkin

To quote the great Dr. Muffy,
“Hooray, hooray, the first of May!
Outdoor f**king starts today!”
But that was three days ago, so never mind. Here’s another rhyme instead:

Sherlockians are in a quandary,
Between a hard place and a rock:
On every fourth of May
Uncertain if to say,
“This is the day of Reichenbock.”
For in locations more Germanic,
Or Yiddish, or near Scottish loch,
On this the fourth of May,
We’d hear the natives say,
“This is the day of Reichenboch.”
How did our Holmes survive destruction?
Of theories we have no lack.
But on this fourth of May
Not many people say,
“This is the day of Reichenback.”
And while we laud the great portrayals
Of Rathbone, Brett, and Cumberbatch,
On ANY fourth of May
Not one of us would say,
“This is the day of Reichenbatch.”

THE DAY OF REICHENBACH II

by Susan Rice

I stood upon a narrow ledge,
More fit by far for hawk than man.
The Falls roared opposite the edge;
At last the stand-off grim began.
I knew the message from the Hof
Was false, planned just to make some room
For schemes of the accursed Prof,
Whose hope it was to seal my doom.
He gave me just a moment’s grace
To tell good Watson of my plight.
I left the note beneath my case,
Before we squared off for our fight.
Moriarty whirled, his hands were claws,
His sneering face was cold and hard.
‘Twas time to test Baritsu’s laws –
At once I crouched and raised my guard.
I see the whites of his wild eyes,
Then just before his rush he cries,
“The fourth of May! The fourth of May!
Outdoor dunking starts today!”